Conditional...Unconditional

There are times when we get discouraged by things that happen and by people around us. Times when we want to give up on someone just because. Times when we hate ourselves for hating others. Times when we stop loving because people fall short of our expectations.

To love without asking why or how, to love without setting any limit ,Is this how we love? Or is our love defined by how much we gain or how much someone makes us happy? I believe we should love a person not because of anything else but simply because we love him, nothing more… nothing less. Conditional love is when we begin to put a price tag on someone. When that person falls below certain limits then he wouldn’t get as much attention and love that he would have been given had he been more qualified.

Love doesn’t measure, weigh or gauge a person ,love just loves .it is the very basic yet the most complicated  formula in the success of any relationship. To love unconditionally is to love beyond the bounds of what limits us, race and creed, wealth and poverty, sickness and health and suffering and happiness. Love knows no bounds and only when we learn how to conquer the limits of what keeps us away from others can love take on a new meaning. One that doesn’t ask the why's or hows. One that simply believes… one that simply loves...

just my two cents...xoxo

Things I wish you knew...

1. I eat a lot when I’m depressed. Yes I can be a pig at times.

2. I’m down to do whatever as long as it doesn't hurt anyone.

3. I laugh easily even at the corniest jokes.

4. I am an impulsive shopper :(

5. I don’t dream big, I just dream enough.

6. I treat people like how I wanna be treated.

7. I do what I want when I want it. (Yes I know, I'm a bitch )

8. I am obsessive-compulsive. ( hey any nurse is...i guess..)

9. When I have a problem, all I need is for you to listen. No need to solve anything.

10. I don’t mind if you’re late- as long as you call first.

11. I need you to tell me how you feel about me.

12. I always wanted to learn how to play the guitar.

13. I’m happy because I don’t expect too much.

14. Mature but sometimes immature.(most of the times immature)

15. I face every problem with a smile.

16. I still watch cartoons everyday. ( go on ..laugh)

17. I cry easily. 

18. I drink like a man ( yes I really do huh).

19.I can't sleep without my smelly pillow.

20. I love tremendously.

Go on make your own list...it's fun..just my two cents..xoxo

Why do I blog?

I started writing back in high school when my greatest desire and ultimate happiness was to get hold of a new title of the "Sweet Dreams" novel. I  remembered saving my allowance to buy a new book a week. yes, I was a geek. and so my, passion for writing begins...fast forward 2011 where technology changed it all. Gone were the days where pens and journals were every writers greatest companions..

Enter: blogging (just a modernized term for writing if I may say). I write when I'm happy, when I'm sad,angry,frustrated,in love, and all other emotions in between. But if one asks me why I have this penchant for writing , here are my reasons:

   1. I blog to create something meaningful.It would be so easy to come home from work or school and sit in front of the TV all night ( yes i do this oftentimes) . It takes a lot of work ,sacrifice and dedication to have the passion to write. Writing gives me a sense of personal satisfaction knowing I am creating something meaningful and productive with my time and energy.

2. To meet and reach out to people all over the world.The world wide web is such a vast       community and just the idea of reaching out to all these people gives me a sense of euphoria.

3. Blogging allows me to share what I've learned in my own life with others . I am not here to solve every one's problems but to share to people what struggles I've had and comfort them even in my own little way and say "hey , it's ok, I've been through that too."

4. Blogging gives me the opportunity to increase my skills and learn new things. I am a firm believer in continuous education whether formal or informal. I love learning and trying out new things. I believe my writing skills have tremendously improved over the years or I choose to believe so .. hehehe.

 5. To inspire and be inspired. I enjoy reading other peoples blog and learn what they are doing with their lives, things that  I thought were out of reach for me, now seemed absolutely possible.

We will never know what life has in store for us , but until we strive to reach for something, we wouldn't know the possibilities out there.

I just hope my writing will inspire people as much as I have been inspired . I call it the "circle of inspiration"...until then... just my two cents ..xoxo

Friends for Life

Friends… such a simple word isn't it? I used to think that friends were just the people that you could laugh and talk to. Now I know that friends aren't just that, they're the people that touch your heart. You could spend hours with them doing nothing at all and it can be the best time of your life, just because it was with them. They're the people you can share your secrets with, cry with, laugh with, and just have fun with. They don't judge you or make you change. They accept you exactly as you are. They look at you and they see a great person, one they love spending time with. You all share something in common and are tied together by memories, tears, laughs and smiles. You're tied together by love for the other. Friendship is the strangest but greatest thing in the world. I find my time with my friends, the best times of my life. My friends are my heart, my soul, my fun, my laughter, tears, my loves and my life. 

My college days will not be the same without my bigtime friends. It’s been years since we haven’t seen each other or haven’t been around together as a whole group. I miss the good old days, when we just hang around and think of nothing and wishing that our next teacher is absent or sometimes we may talk about them behind their backs. Sleepless nights and late nights cramming to review for multiple exams the following day. Not attending our classes especially when the teacher or subject is boring. or when we were just not feeling it. I miss the laughs, the cries, the pressure of projects getting into our heads, the fights, the tambay the malling, the sleepovers,telebabad and most specially the gulp! (inuman nah!), the  girl talk (we usually talk about boys and other people), the house party, the dancing (WE ARE THE DANCING QUEENS!)

College days were the combination of fun, confusion, hardship at times, the expectation of what lies ahead, anticipation, disappointment and falling innocently in love. I still carry such memories wherever I go. It’s something that I will cherish forever. Those were the days that only goes around once in our lifetime. Each one of us have our own lives now. Most of us are married while some chose to go back to being single. But I guess whatever status in life we all are right now , one thing will remain constant : our love and an unbreakable bond that we call friendship. And who says we will stop having fun? Naaaaah we are just getting started and are definitely here to stay....... just my two cents...xoxo

People of the year

If I was given the opportunity to give awards to people who made an impact on my life, I sure will be running out of trophies coz I have plenty in mind. But I chose the best from the bunch ....

This post is dedicated to those people who made a difference in my life , my little way of saying thank you for all they've done, whether they know it or not. :)

babe

my lifesaver, my friend, my lover,my everything rolled into one. his face is the one i love to see first thing in the morning and before i close my eyes at night. the best 13 years of my life i've spent with him and here's looking to more years and a lifetime to share.i love u babe.

Mayette and Carla

my twin bitch and my beastfriend as I call them..my favorite travel buddies. i have known these two for 22 years now (hope my calculations are right). never had a dull moment in all our escapades together. we've laughed , cried, drank to our hearts content, shared secrets , teased each other and the list goes on and on.... i love them dearly and i would stop everything i'm doing in a heartbeat just to escape again in wherever it is with these two crazy ladies...

Sonya and Jazzy

i call them my bestest bestfriends in the entire universe.i have 

known them since forever and we have had a lot of ups and downs,     experiences both good and bad, happy and sad..if i can only rewind     college so we can be together again. but  although these two live   million miles away from me, still we remained the crazy bitches we    used to be. nothing changed..we may have grown up, but we never   grew apart.. i love you son and min...:)

burda ( aida, dovie , che , bing and jesnil) (did i miss out     anyone?....nah!)

they have been my friends half of my life . if someone asks me if I can turn back the hands of time ,from what part of my life will I go back to .. in a heartbeat i'd say ..College..never a dull moment with these girls...and i love them.

jovz 

(sorry boy forgot to post ur pic here)

my new bestbuddy...my constant textmate and telebabadmate if there is such a word. have known him for more than 20 years now but it wasnt until 2009 that we hooked up again and started where we left off. a husband, father and a good friend. never a dull moment listening to his stories and "naughty" antics and will never get tired offering my advise to him too. more adventures and more stories to tell from this guy...:)

the three k's (kathrene,kenneth, and kyle)

the loves of my life.. my siblings.. i'll take a bullet for them and i love them with all my heart.

Mom.

my bestfriend , mentor, father , mother rolled in one. i owe her my life..enough said.. i love her..

thank you for taking time out to read about the people who made a big difference in my life! i hope that we all continue to make an impact on others' lives as well! how about you, who are the people of your year? :)  just my two cents...xoxo

Journal

For or Against? I am for. Here is why. . .

A while back I was feeling low. Life was so challenging, I felt as though I was struggling through each day. I decided to go back and read through some of my journals and the numerous notes and snippets I've written way back 2007. I was dumbfounded. As I read over those words, my words, it was as though I was standing at the edge of a cliff , looking down into its depths. I was astonished at how deep my pain had been. I was sobered by those memories.

With that perspective, I recognized the simple joy of NOT BEING THERE ANYMORE! My challenges are different now, to be sure. I am living a LIFE. It is confusing sometimes. At times, it hurts—even now. Truly, though. . . life is good. I was so grateful to have found my journal, to be able to reflect and truly see how far I've come. The pains are different now . They are not nearly so overwhelming. I have so much more hope for happiness now and in the future. I am so grateful to be where I am now.

Keep a journal. You may need it someday.

Resurrected

I'm back! It has been awhile since I last blogged.. busy busy busy..A lot of things has kept me up on my toes lately. Well I promised myself to religiously write anything starting today. 

So far 2011 looks promising to me. A lot of firsts, and new things to look forward to. First stop, we moved to a new place. Nothing much changed when you think of the size of the new place but I can say this condo gave me good vibes the minute I first set foot here.

A new house means a lot of  new stuff too. new furniture, new decor etc etc but most importantly i think what should really matter is the new ray of hope a new environment brings. Well .. lets just wait and see. until then....just my two cents ...xoxo

Love yourself

i hated it. i hated hearing this so much, i forgot what it meant.

thank you, babe for setting me back on track, for confirming that this was something i really needed to take seriously. It surprised me to think that somehow, i managed to ignore the real meaning of loving your - SELF. too many people are allowed the power to manipulate this part of us that is the point of life, after all. how does it happen?

selfish, egoistic, self-glorifying. words all too commonly designed to hit you where pushing & pulling never stops until it hurts. i’ve been a bitch for what i do, a bitch for what i don’t do, and when i happen to be learning the ropes from in-between, well then i’m just a bitch for not knowing which direction to go, or what the hell i want to do.

well, apparently, things could get worse. because life becomes a pain when you start looking at things from ‘their’ point of view.

if this happens to you, you’ll find that you’re scared to be good at what you love most. you’re scared to be good to WHOM you love the most. unless you’ve got some concept of hope and manage to get sense knocked into your head by some force of nature that pulls you back to what you know, then you’ll probably never stop wondering why you’re not the same. why crashing feels so familiar to you, why understanding melancholy is too easy to do, why the existence of Love beyond science seems harder to prove. 

"Love yourself" is not a command to throw away like a song you’re done with after playing it in your head for so long… it’s not something you change your mind about if people begin to label it as something it isn’t made to be. 

Loving yourself is believing that it is okay to like the great and crazy things others like about you, or that you are someone who has friends who love you, even if you don’t know why. No one is perfect, and no one should feel, or be, alone.

It’s knowing that it is okay to want to be one of the best, if not just better, at that thing you do, JUST BECAUSE. it is happier to dwell on the good things to know what to make of the bad. shoot for the moon.

it is okay to jump at opportunities, because it is okay to be grateful and it is okay, if not better, to make use of what you have. there is always, ALWAYS, a reason for everything.

if you have a life that makes you want to bounce all the blessings back, it is okay to know in your heart that, one day, you will give everything back.

no one should ever have the power to pressure you to do, or be, something that you aren’t ready - nor made - to do, or be.

there is a bigger picture in the world for each one of us & we are all specks of dust in the end. what you do with your life now can outlast you later on.

it is also okay to smile (maybe even so randomly, you’d seem to be on E) — it is okay to admit you just honestly like being in this twisted world, no matter how cruel, judgemental, angry, or dangerous it can be. 

it took me 3 years of gradually losing that strength. a year and a half to slowly gain it back, and 5 months to finally feel it creeping back into me.

so you think you love yourself. but still somewhat believe that all the countless times you fucked up serve as an estimate of who you are in all your years of being… if you think you do love yourself, but fail to ignore the things that you know exist to try and screw you over… then please, love yourself a little bit more. Messing up is NOT equivalent to BEING all messed up. you have every right and reason to LOVE, EVEN if you don’t know why.

Loving that one person, loving anyone, and especially loving yourself, is not anything that LOVE is NOT. 

and you know what? if you find Love, there’s your God.