The Journey

This was a very difficult move. Painful, heartbreaking, soul tearing. I had to leave family,

friends, and my life, the world I was accustomed to and go on a battlefield where I do not even know my opponents. They say that the most permanent thing in the world is change, and indeed change was what became the starting point of everything.

I started writing this blog years ago… back when I was a sheltered queen. To me life was simply a bed of roses. I had been MIA for a while. The year 2015 was the year that changed it all. It was the most difficult year for me. It was the year I died. Losing a partner for 17 years is for me unmatched amongst all the pain one can ever experience in his lifetime. He was my life…my world.. my King, Paul is irreplaceable. Nobody is. His leaving left me with so many questions. Why? Why me? What now? I was lost.. 

The year went by like a blur. So fast that till now I cannot imagine how I was able to survive it.But they all say Life has to go on. It did for me. I became alive again. I started living again. Then suddenly….I died. Again. The second death was more painful. Betrayal, deceit, lies and abuse. All these added up to wound not totally healed . Again I asked God why? Why me? I never got answers.. I have to figure it out myself…

The road to recovery was long…slow..painful…heartbreaking yet awakening. My death the second time gave me lessons. It made me think a lot about my life, my self and everything that has happened.I have to run.. to escape..to seek solace.. to breathe…to find my answers and find myself again.

The first few months of the second rebirth was tougher than the previous. I was alone…lonely…too far from my comfort zone..far away from my kingdom. Yet, I know I had it in me the heart and soul of a warrior. I never quit. I never beg off from a fight… and so I fought.

I am in a better place now . Not in a new kingdom but definitely building my new empire. I was reborn. Along the way I met a King who was lost as well. We were both finding our way now towards that new kingdom. We are both travelling the path , fighting the odds, surviving, looking for answers, but this time I have someone else’s hand to hold..I am not alone..We are both warriors looking for that perfect Kingdom where we can build the new empire and we can finally live happily ever after..

And so my journey continues…

Just my two cents xoxo

Hi guys.. Yes ..unfortunately I am still ALIVE.. lol.. Kidding aside oh how I missed blogging.. I remembered the time where I breathe eat drink writing.. I miss writing.. But a lot of things happened these past years that i was INCOGNITO for a while.. my bad!!! If i was to write every single thing that happened to me in 2015 and recently you'll be spending 5 days reading all of it...

But I am so back and I will stay for a very long time.. Posts now will be a mixture of anything from life, love, relationships, failures, travels , food etc. I missed you all and WELCOME back to me.. And so the story continues.....

just my two scents..xoxo

The Road Ahead

It's 2014.. How time flew by.. My oh my... How is everyone? I missed all of you and I missed writing.
This year is so full of promises. I promise to constantly blog (daily )if i must, I promise to be nicer,to be kinder (as if i'm not) heheheh. I will also commit to being healthier and slimmer..yahoooooo.

It is always sad to say goodbye to a year that you would never see again. But the new year always brings excitement.It brings hope, new beginnings and a whole new year of endless possibilities. A new year always symbolizes the beginning of  a book with all the pages blank waiting for you to fill each page with memories as days go by.

I am full of optimism and glee and I claim it that this will be the best year of my life. The year where I will finally pursue my passion and be the best at it. The year I will slowly realize all my dreams , one baby step at a time...

And so I urge each and everyone of you to be positive about everything and embrace all that the new year brings : hope, dreams, love and a new beginning to a long long road ahead :)

Enjoy the ride ..just my two cents.. xoxo

Happy birthday Babe

Fifteen years ago, I said "I DO" to the man who does not shower me with compliments to fill my day but complements me to fill my life. When I am weak you help me find my inner strength. When I sulk in depression you definitely know how to tickle my funny bone. When I get a little crazy you gently pull me back to earth from cloud nine instead of kicking me at the rear! You just don't know I find you really cute when you force a smile on your face when I know you'd rather skin me alive! I love you more for that. You did not give me a bed of roses free from thorns but you have taught me a valuable lesson . . . the beauty of life will bloom once I have taught myself the hard lessons that come from the painful sting of life's thorns. Thank you for shaking me off my cloud of fairy tales and knights in shining armors. For a while, I hated you for that! I was a hopeless romantic who had my heart broken, stomped and squashed! I thought I have totally given up on love and happiness but love came when I least expected it. Love finds us when we stop chasing it. I have so much to thank you for but being your wife for 15 years, I know now that you wouldn't have the patience to read everything. Saying to you that "I love you to the moon and back" will be an understatement of how I truly feel for you. Thank you for believing in me when nobody else did. Thank you for annoying the hell out of me until I realize how stupid I was for being annoyed in the first place. Thank you for not holding my hand when I wanted to let go. It was your warm embrace that was my saving grace. 

Thank you for being my best friend, my partner in crime, my coach, my critic, my ALL. Thank you for teaching me to face my fears even if it meant having me wet my pants! Thank you for wiping my tears dry and for constantly reassuring me that you got my back and ready to kick ass when I need it. Our love is not a fairy tale and I wouldn't want it any other way. I have come to embrace reality and enjoy moments of occasional spine-tingling romantic rendezvous with you. I will go where you take me. I will have my heart broken, stomped and squashed time and again if I were still to end up with you. Thank you BABE for choosing me to be your partner in our journey through life.  We can never be perfect but I sincerely appreciate your effort for trying to be the best husband you can be. You deserve an A+! I shall face life's journey praising God for blessing me not with a perfect man but a perfect partner. There will be bumps and turns but who cares! God has chosen the best partner for me. After 15 years . . . I will still say "I DO" to you anytime and anywhere. I will grow old with you and love you in this lifetime and the next!

I love you babe.. HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY <3

just my two cents...xoxo

My Big Comeback

Ola readers,.... yay ! Yes I am back.. So sorry I missed out and neglected this blog once again ( slap me!). I was soooooooooooo busy with a lot of things... Hay .... Well as you can see , it's 2013 and I wanna catch up and be active again.. I missed blogging . I missed talking to the blank page on my computer who is the first audience to my insanely , erratic mind and ideas... 


I promise to religiously make an entry daily or at least on a weekly basis perhaps? Punish me if I don't..Well i'll be updating this starting tom and let u all know of the gory details of the months that passed by.. Until tom peeps... In three, two , one.....

Just my two cents ...xoxo

For What it's Worth :)

I was in deep thought this morning and thinking about all the many things i wanna do with my life. I had been hurt  recently by people I thought were friends. I was used and abused and ridiculed behind my back. I was angry. Then I remembered the many good things I did not just for those people but to others as well. I remembered the toothless smile and thank you I got from an old man who I let go ahead of me in the line, the pregnant lady I offered my seat to in the train, the thank you i got from an acquaintance I offered to stay overnight in my place before her flight, the list could just go on and on..Thinking of all this, I allowed my hurt and disappointment to melt away and be replaced with compassion . Enumerating each , I started to feel good about who I am.

In the past, I thought my worth was defined by the following:

How good of a cook I was
How clean my house was
Where I lived
What I drove
What my husband did for a living
Where I worked
How much money we had
What I looked like
What I wore

Where I shopped
How much I weighed
How many friends I had
How good of a wife I was
Whether people liked me
How great of a friend, daughter, sister, neighbor, writer, blogger, spiritual person, fitness gal, or whatever the hell it was I was trying to be at the time....etc. The list was endless. And my self-esteem was very low. 

I had to realize that none of that defined my worth. I am WORTHY. My self-worth comes from within. All of those were about other people's perceptions. I let everyone off the hook for defining my worth and having to either judge or validate me. So , I freed myself. I made a choice. I just gave myself permission to be me. People will always have an opinion or will have their own perception of you. But at the end of the day, who cares? What matters is how you perceive yourself. The world is a huge weighing scale. people will always try to look at you and judge you by how they perceive or see you, but none of these matters.

I realized that when we hold on to hurt, disappointments, anger and blame, there is no room for love, understanding and forgiveness. So today , I'll start making room . The ONE up there loves me anyways, flaws and all .  I want you to know you are worthy too....always.

just my two cents...xoxo

MIA

I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaack.. I know i know guilty as charged...again.. I know I have been missing in action for a while now. Well can you blame me? I'm a busy bee (chos!) What have I been up to? Hmmm can u say.. A LOOOOT? I've been doing a lot of travelling since summer. 

April was a trip to CDO to spearhead Operation Sendong : A gift giving and Medical mission for the victims of typhoon Sendong. (Ang bait ko noh? ) hehehehhe I , together with my BFF's from college have been doing this for 2 years now , doing Medical Missions, that is..It's our way of giving back to people in need..hey, kindness pays you know :)

June was the toughest month of the year as I may say. My hubby's dad had a major stroke and brain surgery that almost took his life. It was draining emotionally, spiritually, and financially as well. Papa stayed more than a month in the ICU and boy I tell you, that came with a hefty price tag. Then my uncle who was battling with Liver Cirrhosis for years now passed away too. It was difficult for us (the family) to go thru this agony again after losing another loved one to cancer last 2008. Damn you cancer!!!!

It was a roller coaster of emotions for me.. A rollercoaster of events, happy , sad, trying times, difficult ones, triumphs name it . I've had it. ( Ako na ang pinagpala!!!) .But as they say, this too shall pass and I am back on track...I hope :)

The air smells of Christmas already and Christmas always makes me happy. Maybe because it is such a happy occasion  . I always think of Christmas as a time for family and get togethers but most impotantly the birthday of my one true love.. Jesus Christ :)

Despite the storms I weathered these past few months, I am still optimistic. Alive and kicking as they say. I still wake up each day hoping, yearning and believing that better days are still ahead .And to quote President Obama " Hope is that stubborn thing inside us that insists that something better awaits us , as long as we keep fighting " 

I second the motion. 

Just my two cents...xoxo