For What it's Worth :)

I was in deep thought this morning and thinking about all the many things i wanna do with my life. I had been hurt  recently by people I thought were friends. I was used and abused and ridiculed behind my back. I was angry. Then I remembered the many good things I did not just for those people but to others as well. I remembered the toothless smile and thank you I got from an old man who I let go ahead of me in the line, the pregnant lady I offered my seat to in the train, the thank you i got from an acquaintance I offered to stay overnight in my place before her flight, the list could just go on and on..Thinking of all this, I allowed my hurt and disappointment to melt away and be replaced with compassion . Enumerating each , I started to feel good about who I am.

In the past, I thought my worth was defined by the following:

How good of a cook I was
How clean my house was
Where I lived
What I drove
What my husband did for a living
Where I worked
How much money we had
What I looked like
What I wore

Where I shopped
How much I weighed
How many friends I had
How good of a wife I was
Whether people liked me
How great of a friend, daughter, sister, neighbor, writer, blogger, spiritual person, fitness gal, or whatever the hell it was I was trying to be at the time....etc. The list was endless. And my self-esteem was very low. 

I had to realize that none of that defined my worth. I am WORTHY. My self-worth comes from within. All of those were about other people's perceptions. I let everyone off the hook for defining my worth and having to either judge or validate me. So , I freed myself. I made a choice. I just gave myself permission to be me. People will always have an opinion or will have their own perception of you. But at the end of the day, who cares? What matters is how you perceive yourself. The world is a huge weighing scale. people will always try to look at you and judge you by how they perceive or see you, but none of these matters.

I realized that when we hold on to hurt, disappointments, anger and blame, there is no room for love, understanding and forgiveness. So today , I'll start making room . The ONE up there loves me anyways, flaws and all .  I want you to know you are worthy too....always.

just my two cents...xoxo

MIA

I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaack.. I know i know guilty as charged...again.. I know I have been missing in action for a while now. Well can you blame me? I'm a busy bee (chos!) What have I been up to? Hmmm can u say.. A LOOOOT? I've been doing a lot of travelling since summer. 

April was a trip to CDO to spearhead Operation Sendong : A gift giving and Medical mission for the victims of typhoon Sendong. (Ang bait ko noh? ) hehehehhe I , together with my BFF's from college have been doing this for 2 years now , doing Medical Missions, that is..It's our way of giving back to people in need..hey, kindness pays you know :)

June was the toughest month of the year as I may say. My hubby's dad had a major stroke and brain surgery that almost took his life. It was draining emotionally, spiritually, and financially as well. Papa stayed more than a month in the ICU and boy I tell you, that came with a hefty price tag. Then my uncle who was battling with Liver Cirrhosis for years now passed away too. It was difficult for us (the family) to go thru this agony again after losing another loved one to cancer last 2008. Damn you cancer!!!!

It was a roller coaster of emotions for me.. A rollercoaster of events, happy , sad, trying times, difficult ones, triumphs name it . I've had it. ( Ako na ang pinagpala!!!) .But as they say, this too shall pass and I am back on track...I hope :)

The air smells of Christmas already and Christmas always makes me happy. Maybe because it is such a happy occasion  . I always think of Christmas as a time for family and get togethers but most impotantly the birthday of my one true love.. Jesus Christ :)

Despite the storms I weathered these past few months, I am still optimistic. Alive and kicking as they say. I still wake up each day hoping, yearning and believing that better days are still ahead .And to quote President Obama " Hope is that stubborn thing inside us that insists that something better awaits us , as long as we keep fighting " 

I second the motion. 

Just my two cents...xoxo

Everyday is VALENTINE'S DAY

Ahhhhh. the smell of LOVE is in the air.. I can smell it pretty strongly, can you? A day of hearts, of love and lovers and everything else that spells 
L-O-V-E. It's the time of year again where the color Red is the color you see the most everywhere. But I can't help but wonder why do we only emphasize it on the 14th of February? Can we not celebrate love everyday?


I have been married to this man for 14 years. And like most marriages, ours was not perfect. We both have to face the daily struggles of married life, budgeting finances, personal differences, clashing of opinions and so on and so forth , all these makes it all so real. But life marches on, no matter how much we wanna slow down for a while , breathe a little and savor love more often. Our fourteen years have not been an easy ride. Our ability to cope, react and accept each others differences , and faith in what we have  I guess, was what helped us get through some very rocky patches . And in life's bittersweet and ironic way, these rocky patches was what made us stronger and our love to grow deeper.

The kind of love we now have was way much different that the one we had 14 years ago. Ours is now nestled inside a quite confidence and a deeper passion. We still work on our marriage. I believe love requires practice everyday. There will be days that we will connect like two perfectly fitted pieces of a puzzle, yet there will also be days that we will both choose to retreat in our own separate little corners to find the strength to love another day. And being true to the vow we both made fourteen years ago, we will be committed to make it work because we believe we can.


Yes, indeed love is complicated but the simplest way to understand it is to  embrace it and all it's  complexities. There will be more rocky patches ahead, more struggles, more fights and more making -ups but we both know these are all just pit stops to the finish line. Our love may bend at times, but it wont break.


And so I say, celebrate love not just on Valentine's day but everyday. Celebrate love between couples, friends, families and everyone for that matter. Go ahead. Love TODAY.TOMORROW.ALWAYS.


Happy Love Day everyone !!!


Just my two cents...xoxo

The Day the Earth Moved

Our mother earth is as complex as the universe, so they say. So complex that sometimes or oftentimes things that we have no control of whatsoever happens. I have witnessed a lot of tragedies, calamities in my existence. Some mild to moderate, some really beating us pretty hard. Typhoons, floods were a common thing but earthquakes?  I can barely remember or if there even was , luckily we weren't directly affected.


I am a person of great faith and even in the most crucial times of our lives, I guess our faith is the only thing that we can hold on to. February 6 was just an ordinary day for me. Typical Monday that it was. I was up to do my usual daily chores. Then at around 11:58 am something happened in faraway Cebu that made my world stand still. A 6.9 magnitude quake hit Cebu and most parts of the Visayas. I was numb. My initial reaction was to grab my phone and call my mom but to no avail all I got was "connection failed". I was terrified to my wits and was so worried I couldn't think clearly. Then I got a text message from my sister that they were ok and safe. i have never been scared in my entire life. It pains me to be so far away from my family while something critical was happening. I guess that was the time I prayed the most .


Relief came to me when finally I was able to talk to my mom . They were a little shaken up, panicking but safe. I guess it was another a-ha moment for me. After Ondoy, this event was another realization that indeed life is short and is full of uncertainties. As swiftly as the days pass,  time ticks too. And so I say, live each day as if it were your last. Do things you have long been wanting  to do, value the people you love, waste no time for we never know what the future brings.


Life is  short. Make it count.

Just my two cents...xoxo

It's the LOOOOVEEEE Month :)

It’s February and you know what that means? chalky heart candies with messages on them like “I wuv u”, heart shaped cards, over sized boxes of chocolate, and red decorations everywhere! Yes ,Valentine’s day is coming up, which makes February the month of Love. My eyes will be tired of seeing red again this time of the year. But hey , I'm not complaining. I love Valentines day.

But for me love shouldn't be celebrated only on a day in February, love should be celebrated everyday of the year. Love and all its complexities is everywhere around us : in our homes, workplace, even the streets we live in. Love exists between families, brothers , sisters, friends , neighbors , and of course between couples.

So come on , I encourage everyone to celebrate love, not only on the 14th but everyday. Life is short and we can only live each day once. Go out there, hug a friend, be kind to a stranger, call your family, kiss someone passionately. In any form and in any way you can, show love. Because after all , LOVE is what makes the world go round .

Just my two cents...xoxo

25 Things to do (more often) before I reach 45.

Over the years I have been writing my Bucket List and all the things that I wanna do when I reach 30, 40 blah blah blah. And as the years passed, boy I tell you, my list grew and grew..whew! I have yet to complete the 1000 things I wanna do before I die, so for now, i'm sharing the things I wanna do  before I reach 45. 

There are just some things you must experience just because they take you away from the mundane. Make a goal to try at least 10 of these and know exactly what I mean.

1. Ride a motorcycle and let the wind run through your hair.
2. Get high-heeled shoes to add some inches to your height, to make your legs look longer and to build some confidence.
3. Take a walk under the shade of a row of trees.
4. Wake up early enough to catch the sunrise. Sunsets are pretty too but it is more difficult to catch the sunrise, which makes it more rewarding.
5. Go scuba diving!!!
6. Hold hands with someone you love, or like.
7. Have a professional take your picture. Have yourself styled. It is for keeps.
8. Watch Life is Beautiful, the movie. Be patient with the subtitles, it is worth it. If you did not catch the movie, search everywhere for the video.
9. Wear something so sexy to shock even yourself. Just to make people who take you for granted realize what a hot babe you are.
10. Read an old love letter.
11. Wax your armpits, and while you are at it have a bikini wax as well, It will change your life.(oouuuuch)
12. Get a radical haircut and forget all the stupid excuses like he’ll get mad.
13. Bake some bread when you’re feeling blue. ( this is going to be hard !)
14. Light some scented candles in your room and write in your journal. Inspiration will hit.
15. Drink café mocha in a café corner, and sit alone in the late afternoon sunshine. ( been doing this often now )
16. Do yogahhh!
17. Invite your grandparents out for lunch and talk about the past – theirs!
18. Take a lavender scented-bubble bath. ( will have to look for a place with a tub now! )
19. Memorize a love song in a foreign language and sing it to him over the phone. For starters, try Besame Mucho. (yuck!)
     20. Go bungee jumping. ( promise i'll do this )
    21. Watch a movie alone.
    22. Go on a trip alone.
    23. Learn how to drive.
    24. Learn to play a musical instrument.
    25.Make love often . ( 3x a week or 3x a day ?)
    
    
    Hmmm, sounds good enough for me.. I guess I have to make another list when something else comes to mind. But for now I think this will do. Go on... make your list and just have the time of your life.
    
    
    Just my two cents...xoxo

New Leaf

I know , i know... I admit.. Guilty as charged again . Sorry to have been missing in action for the past months...A lot ( as in a lot ) has happened I don't even know where to start ...hmmmm. Well for starters, how is 2012 treating everyone? I hope it is off to a good start for everyone as it is in mine. My 2011 was a combination of both good and bad ...There were promising months, times that gave me smiles and there were also my share of not so good times where tears found its way unintentionally to fall from my eyes :(. But hey , it's the new year and new years marks new beginnings right? So no need talking about sob stories and heartaches..it's time to welcome the year with gladness and optimism.


I love new beginnings, new years in particular. For me every new beginning is a blessing. An opportunity to start anew, throw whatever is ugly and start a brand new you. Beginnings are the times to welcome change, hope, faith and a new page in life. Like a tree who looses all its leaves in Autumn, there will always be the coming of Spring where a new leaf grows..

So enjoy life, embrace the new year with gusto.. After all  we only live this life once.


Just my two cents... xoxo